In traditional divorce proceeds so much time is spent on what has gone wrong and the problems. However in a collaborative process you can focus on future goals that you have for yourself and for your family. Often a facilitator maybe called in the bring the person away from all the negative feelings they now have about their spouse and remember some of the past pleasant experiences and at that time ask what positive goals they have for themselves and family after the divorce. This then allows people to think in a positive way and get goals that can be meet to obtain settlement between the parties. This is emphasizing the positive in their life and what they want to get on with life. Goals of child and spousal support and post-secondary education for the kids and financial security for the parties are top priorities. Working on getting to this goal brings much more positive input then arguing about mistakes in the past.